Did you know that you can see some 2,800-year-old ancient Assyrian cuneiform posters for free in Brunswick at the Bowdoin College Museum of Art? Seriously, you climb the stairs to the third floor (or maybe it’s technically the second — the museum starts in the basement) and then boom, the first thing you see when you hit the landing is this nearly three-millennia-old stone relief carving.

I know it’s not technically a poster but as far as I’m concerned, it’s a sheet of images and (cuneiform) words that was used to decorate a residence (a palace) so therefore … poster.

What struck me was how close you can get to this piece of history. It was close enough to touch. There are no barriers between you and the art, other than the nice security guard who is clearly posted in that section to prevent visitors from doing exactly that. Not that I would have touched it! I just occasionally have those intrusive thoughts, especially at museums and exhibits.

I plopped right down on the conveniently located bench for awhile, both to take in the magnificent stonework and because the pregnancy fatigue has been hitting me hard lately, and I’d just climbed a set of stairs. The very nice security guard — really more of a docent — didn’t give me the rundown on the Assyrian reliefs, but he did tell me that across the gallery, in one of the statue rooms, there was a very comfortable couch.

The staff and volunteers of the Bowdoin College Museum of Art are very good at anticipating their visitors’ needs, let me tell you. Also, admission is free. You can literally just walk in.

Originally my wife and I went to the Peary-MacMillan Arctic Museum on Bowdoin’s campus. (Admission is free to the general public, thank you, tuition-paying students!). My recent fatigue has been mental as well as physical; I’ve had no energy or interest in going anywhere and doing anything.

It’s driving my poor wife up the walls with boredom, even though she is being very supportive of her spouse suddenly turning into an Amazonian sloth. So I’ve been trying to combat that by going out and doing activities on the weekends, and I’ve had a fondness for Arctic exploration and the Bowdoin collections in particular since I went to a summer camp about Robert Peary in high school. (If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “Was the Maine Millennial cool and popular in high school?” you have your answer.)

The polar bear pants I remember 15 years later are still there! The ongoing exhibits about life in the Arctic Circle are fun and full of useful information, especially if you’re concerned about civilization collapsing into a nuclear winter. Just in case. But the Arctic Museum is small, and one gallery is closed to prep an exhibit on Inuit textiles (we could see into it and it looks beautiful) so we extended our visit to the art museum as well.

One of the great things about college campuses is that there is always something going on. In this case, the annual Bowdoin College Powwow was happening right in front of the entrance to the art museum. We walked through the quad and then pow! Drum circle. (See what I did with that pun there?) Between the music, the dancing and the intricate Indigenous regalia it was like another art museum had come to life on the lawn. And, oh my gosh, all the little kids with their ribbon skirts and ribbon shirts. So cute. My pregnancy hormones were wilding out.

Sometimes I feel a little guilty going to art museums, because it feels like a lot of the time I don’t “get it.” Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at art, especially paintings and other mediums that clearly take a high skill level to accomplish. The painting and photography exhibition about Monhegan Island was, predictably, quite beautiful. But it’s the more abstract pieces I struggle with. I always feel like I just don’t Get It.

For example, there was a sculpture that was literally a stack of folded blankets, and all I could think while looking at them was “my mom had at least two of these in her house right now.” Thank God for all the student write-ups next to the more abstract and interpretable artworks.  Most of them are done not by museum professionals but by current Bowdoin students, which is probably a great learning experience and which also helped me out greatly.

My poor wife, who is classy and smart and loves museums of art, kept asking me things like “What do you think?” And all I could say was “looks like a stack of blankets to me.” My brain does not do well with interpretation. I don’t know if it’s an autism thing or just a Victoria thing but it makes me feel bad, like I’m not doing the job right, or appreciating the artists’ efforts. Like this is not meant to be a dig at the blanket sculpture artist! I’m sure lots of people found it moving and interesting.

“Weren’t you an English major? Isn’t that all about interpreting texts?” Yes it is, hon, and to be honest I’m not entirely sure how I managed to get through those classes either. I feel very flat looking at art sometimes. Also, there was a painting of a heavily pregnant woman who was depicted as looking corpsified on purpose, and while I get the artistic intent and stuff, I can’t say it made me feel great about my upcoming future. That was definitely a piece of art that made me feel something, so good work to the artist, Anne Harris, and also, if you are reading this, I kind of hate you.

Fortunately, the Bowdoin museum has a ton of historical artifacts, which are also pieces of art and also way more up my alley, because I can look at them from a historical perspective rather than trying to interpret what message an artist is trying to get across to me that I’m absolutely not picking up.

My favorites — other than the magnificent Assyrian reliefs — were the little Egyptian statuettes and carvings of their cats. You can just see how humans have been trying to take pictures of their cats to show off for thousands of years, and I think that’s beautiful.